How do you know when you’re safe in a relationship? Being in a safe relationship means having what you need to function and be healthy in regards to your well-being: emotional (how you feel), mental (how you think), physical, spiritual, and financial.
If you’ve never experienced a healthy relationship, chances are you won’t be able to identify one unless you’re shown. For some people, being in toxic dysfunctional situations are a normal occurrence which can stem back from childhood. Therefore, when you’re selecting your partner you will most likely subconsciously pick the one closest to what you’re use to. In addition, you’ll definitely pick the person whom you reflect best.
So for instance, let’s say you’re in a phase in life where things are not going well, you’re unhappy and still trying to figure life out. You’ll attract someone in a similar place. Yes, you can find someone in a different phase but eventually you and the person will either connect up and grow or break up. But let’s say you’re in a balance placed but haven’t quite determined the next steps, if your heart and mind are available, you’ll meet the right person who is in a similar place. (You may ask the question “Can we grow from here?” The answer is yes. However, the rate of speed in which you grow and how wiling you both are in making it work will determine if you grow.)
To know if you’re in a safe relationship you have to be able to identify when you’re not safe. Safe isn’t just being safe from physical abuse, hurt and pain, but it’s also being able to free to be yourself, follow your dreams and passions and live the lifestyle which best fits you individually and as a couple.
Often times we may think, “We don’t fight.” but you’re in a relationship with someone you don’t even like most of the time or who doesn’t support what you want to do. Perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone who’s not financially stable and neither of you are unable to live your dreams and goals because there never seems to be any money. Then maybe you’re in a situation in which everything seems good but you don’t have the best health because you and your partner don’t agree on the foods you should buy or you work out but she doesn’t and she’s not looking as good as she once did and you’re ready to leave. Or maybe even still, you want to be an Entrepreneur and he wants you to follow your dreams later and go work a 9-to-5 so you can help pay the bills. In any case, one of the KEY identifiers to know if you’re in a safe relationship is if you find yourself thinking about your past and comparing it to how bad it really wasn’t.
The past is a great indicator for helping us to determine WHAT we want in life. If you recall what didn’t work and how you didn’t make it work with the last person, you’ll have a better chance at identifying what needs to change.
As you compare what worked and what didn’t work from your past, don’t get stuck down memory lane. Let it show where and who you want to become.
Lastly, when you can identify with some or all of the things listed above, you will know you’re in a safe relationship.
Be handled with love and care.